Page 309
on November 16, 2021
at 12:01 am
and modified on November 3, 2021. at 12:48 pm
Chapter: Ten
Location: Fern Dell Trail, Griffith Park
↓ Transcript
Close on Rubi, her eyes closed, Clay’s face in the crystal she is holding.
And then he appears in the large crystal, laying on the ground slumped against a tree, unconscious and hurt.
RUBI
Clay!
MARIE
Oh no.
And as quickly as it appeared, the crystal in the center cracks,
And then he appears in the large crystal, laying on the ground slumped against a tree, unconscious and hurt.
RUBI
Clay!
MARIE
Oh no.
And as quickly as it appeared, the crystal in the center cracks,
Um, You might want to re-draw Marie in that penultimate panel. I think it might balance the frame better if she were holding that crystal in a slightly different location. It’s too close to being the same color as her shirt to be exactly where it is.
Then again, your comic and your call. Just a note in case it’s something you hadn’t noticed and want to correct.
I kind of assumed we were seeing the shirt through the crystal.